A sexy thriller about a mysterious woman (me) using transport

Hello! Hi! It’s Lucie here!

If you’ve been following me since my previous trip thanks for stopping by, I missed you! If you’re new here, welcome!

You might remember that in 2018 I took a gap year and did some solo travel, visiting Australia, Fiji, New Zealand and America . To those of you who followed along, thanks for joining me for the ride!

Since my first trip in 2018, I have graduated with a degree in Education, English and Drama and finally started pursuing stand up comedy. I’m also about to finish my journalism diploma, so at the very least, I can promise a higher standard of editing this time. I’ve done some cool stuff like presenting live radio shows at the British Grand Prix and a lot of not so cool stuff, like selling paint to stingy landlords in DIY stores.

5 years have passed and I’ve had plenty of time to reflect on that initial expedition and glean from it many valuable lessons, such as:

Do not bring a suitcase, you will come to resent lugging it around

If you run into trouble, seek out a German. From sunburn to bug bites, they will be infinitely better equipped to tackle the problem than yourself.

And…

Concerns about ruining your ‘nice’ clothes in hostel tumble dryers are NEVER an excuse to sport hideous fits like the one on the left.

Even in the Year of Our Lord 2018, when people were wearing birthday makeup to Sainsbury’s, there was never a situation that called for dressing like the boy from ‘Up’.

Alarming Piece of Trivia: In 2018, I decided that the photo on the left was a suitable image for my Tinder profile.

Even More Alarming Piece of Trivia: It was fairly successful.

5 years is too long ago to still be harping on about your gap year. Which is precisely why I’m going on a new trip abroad!!!

The plan? Three weeks solo backpacking around Japan then flying on to live and work New Zealand for the foreseeable. I can’t take you with me because my suitcases are full of my worldly possessions, but maybe you could grab a cup of tea and a biscuit and follow this blog instead!!

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On the 25th November at approximately 4pm, I said goodbye to my Mum at Heathrow departures gate and skulked round the corner to security.

It was the culmination of a series of tearful farewells that had taken place that week, as I said (a temporary) goodbye to family and friends. I had been living with Queen Debbie since I left university and after a couple of years of being a sponge, at long last, it was time to cut those apron strings, put on some big girl pants and head out into the big wide world.

It was emotional, it was scary, but it was hard to contain my excitement. After months of working odd customer facing jobs to save up, this Idiot was finally going Abroad, this Mr Bean was jetting off on Holiday, this Shawn Mendes was about to get…Lost in Japan.

10 minutes in and I was already in trouble. What can I say?! I love the magical moment when a man locks eyes with you across a crowded room and says: ‘I’m just a security guard standing in front of a woman, asking her why she forgot to put her laptop in the designated tray.’

I’m not really sure who designed airports to have the Passengers Getting Emotional Bit right before the Passengers Must Sort Things into Trays with the Dexterity and Speed of an Aldi Cashier Bit, but I would like to make a complaint. I imagine it’s someone who at a cremation, would ask the congregation if they could quickly check that there are no liquids, baseball bats or fireworks in the casket before it goes whizzing down the conveyor belt…

With my luggage successfully checked, I raced out of security on a focussed mission to source the items missing from my packing list. I got so carried away, I ended up racing over to the departure gate in time for boarding. I was annoyed because it meant I didn’t have time to play my favourite game- finding passengers with unusual walks and copying them around the airport.

Overall, my prediction that my night flight would be tedious and uncomfortable was correct. The cramped seating and a steady stream of turbulence made getting to sleep difficult- it was about as relaxing as trying to nap on the Alton Towers Runaway Mine Train. Given it was nighttime, there was also very little to look at down below.

Some brief comic relief occurred when a member of the cabin crew, having spent hours skilfully switching between Japanese and English, seemed to forget that I could comprehend the latter. For some reason, he used minimal words in his request that I should pull down the window shutter before I sleep, deciding instead that a theatrical impression of a vampire being exposed to sunlight would get the job done.

I told him ‘It’s ok, I don’t know what to do with my drama degree either’.

The same man was very confused when I decided to pass on that famous staple of English breakfast, shepherd’s pie, served up by the crew in the morning.

Stale air and questionable in-flight menu options aside, my time was greatly improved by my lovely neighbour. Given that we would be in such close quarters for the next 12 hours, I felt obliged to introduce myself. Satomi Watanabe told me that she had been visiting her daughter in the UK, who had just had a baby. A small, spry woman roughly the same age as my Nan, she was very excited to hear about the itinerary I had planned, insisting I show her my spreadsheet and nodding approvingly at each stop.

When the in flight meal arrived, she instructed me on how to use the oshibori (wet towel) handed out by the flight attendants and laughed aloud at my earnest attempt to use chopsticks. Compelled to intervene, she took my hand and adjusted it, moving my fingers into place while muttering ‘Koko koko koko (here here here)’ and laughing when they returned to their original position. My unsuccessful attempts to pick up rice had her in stitches, prompting her to gleefully exclaim ‘You are like a baby!!’

Despite neither of us being fluent in the other’s language, we managed to build quite the rapport. I imagine she was feeling broody, having just left her daughter and grandchild behind and having just set off on my own, god knows I was in need of mothering.

She seemed highly amused by my collection of snacks and magazines, chuckling to herself and muttering ‘Ah so young!!’. Which I think is Japanese for ‘enjoy that fast metabolism while it lasts.’ She asked me my age, which prompted additional muttering- ‘Ah so young and so beautiful!!’ Look I know this blog is first person and technically, I’m an unreliable narrator but I promise she said this ok.

A mere glance at the Japanese beer she was drinking resulted in an invitation to try it. I took a sip and before I could issue a verdict, she insisted that an air hostess bring me one of my own. I’m not a big beer fan (who likes bread flavoured juice?!) but Satomi Watanabe had just given me more compliments than any man in my entire life and I wasn’t about to let her down.

We talked and giggled in intervals, then she spied a free row of seats and pounced. A decision which I was grateful for, as it gave me a chance to curl up across two seats and get three more hours of sleep than the zero I had anticipated. Even so, she pottered back before landing to check that I had slept ok.

I love planes and airports because they enable you to meet people you never would have happened across otherwise. Reflecting on this encounter a few days later, it still makes me smile. I’m so grateful for the kindness she extended to me. She seemed genuinely thrilled that I was about to experience her culture.

A few days later I saw a TikTok of a young man holding a woman’s hand on a flight. They didn’t know each other, but she was clearly so terrified of the plane taking off that she reached out for support. Amidst a news cycle which reminds us daily of human capacity for cruelty, such encounters make me optimistic that as a species, we are fundamentally, compelled to look after each other.

I hope that one day I can be a Satomi Watanabe for first-time travellers to England, insisting they down a cup of PG Tips and instructing them the finer points of consuming a Greggs sausage roll.

Find out what happened when I landed in Tokyo in the next blog!